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My dream of hoarding gold and living off of it in perpetuity was shattered when I was 10.
I was in 5th grade when this lost hit was popular, and I noted that the song said gold was "indestructible." So I got the brilliant idea that I could get a bunch of gold, hide it somewhere, and not have to worry about it getting ruined. I didn't think of one important thing though: Where would I get all that gold? Gold doesn't grow on trees. But not knowing where to get gold wasn't what dashed my hopes.
My dream was demolished one day when I was in the car in the school parking lot. The Spandaus' hit was on the radio. I asked my mom if gold was indeed "indestructible."
The answer? No, it was not. There were certain chemicals that could destroy gold on contact.
That meant I couldn't stockpile gold and count on it not falling to shambles. I was doomed to be near the lower end of the economic ladder forever. What a life!
By then, Spandau Ballet was like an entire universe itching to be ridiculed. The "Gold" video showed lead singer Tony Hadley wearing his famous suit that looked like it had a necklace embedded in it.
In later years, it became clear that theft would have been a bigger threat to my gold stash than corrosive chemicals. People stole valuables from me at school no matter how tightly I guarded them. The exact same thing would happen repeatedly - at several different schools - and the school wouldn't do anything about it.
I also got a book that had a brief article on how to pan for gold. The funniest part is where it says that if you find gold, you're supposed to put up a sign advertising it, instead of taking your prize and running home with it.
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