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"She ain't pretty, she just looks that way..."
Let's go postal!
There was a time when the word postal didn't mean what it means today. It used to actually have something to do with the postal service.
A strange thing, that postal service. I could never really figure out how they sort all that mail, or how they manage to deliver magazines and not lose any part of them except all the pages. But when you think of the postal service, you think of stamps.
And when you think of stamps, you think of a problem that started cropping up at restaurants in the 1980s. I noticed that occasionally, when you ordered a soft drink with your meal, it would taste minty - not unlike the glue on a postage stamp. It was like that phase in the early 2000s when French fries at fast food restaurants tasted like soap. But I don't think the problem with the soft drinks has ever gone away, because I still encountered it just a couple years ago.
When we get a soft drink that tastes like this, we say it's postal. But we're luckier than this a vast majority of the time. That means we get to break into song instead.
"It ain't postal, it just looks that way!"
Almost every restaurant visit since 1992 in which we receive a beverage that tastes anywhere close to normal has been graced with these new lyrics to a lost hit by the Northern Pikes, a band of Saskatoon rockers. One sip, and you should know whether to sing.
This routine is still a hit after all these years - even though the Pikes' original song long ago became lost on U.S. airwaves.
According to the all-knowing Wikipedia, "She Ain't Pretty" was inspired by an episode of Rhoda in which a character used a similar phrase. It would be like if the band had watched The Dukes Of Hazzard and written a song titled "You Done Scuffed My Vehicle!"
Meanwhile, don't be surprised to find Yelp or Tripadvisor reviews in which the reviewer complains that a restaurant served a soda that tasted like a postage stamp.
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