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"If I could make it to the bathroom...If I could make it to the coast..."
When you watch any of this band's early 1980s videos, one of the main things you'll notice is that anti-glare coating for eyeglasses wasn't common yet back then. When I saw their "You Can Do Magic" clip, I was afraid of being blinded by all that glare.
It appears that for their video for "The Border", the band tried using the lack of anti-reflective coating for artistic effect but gave up on it quickly. A world without anti-glare glasses was better than today, because back then you didn't have to worry about the coating getting ruined by bubble gum, but I digress.
You all know that we love poking lighthearted fun at many of the songs and performers profiled on this blog. And - because this song was popular when I was 10 - it was a sure thing that I'd make up new lyrics for the chorus: "If I could make it to the bathroom...If I could make it to the coast..." But I didn't write additional lyrics about what I'd do when I got to the bathroom or the coast.
This record became a lost hit pretty much immediately when it fell out of the top 40. Maybe it sounded too familiar, as it does bear a strong resemblance to "Ride Like The Wind" by Christopher Cross. It was so lost that when I heard it once on the radio about 3 years later, my jaw hit the floor.
But it is my bathroom-related parody that guaranteed this track a spot on this blog. Toilet humor was a staple in the early '80s. TV commercials were also fair game for this type of comedy. For example, for the Stetson cologne commercial where the horses were running around in the guy's hat, I claimed they were actually swimming in his toilet - which would make a mess when he put it on his head. This was accompanied by the inevitable slogan "Stetson shits." For the Wrangler jeans commersh where the big, tough cowboy walks into the saloon, I always said he was wetting his pants. He's hard to beat when he takes his seat!
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